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Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Dino Exhibit Names

Here's a full list of the Dino Exhibits and their names so you know what to search for, along with some text from Dr Andy, Doctorate of Paleontology, University of Made Up Studies, 1999.

Remember, they appear from Bone Crates, the reward from the Dino Collection, and appear in the inventory.


Poor Carnosaurs are something of a dumping ground for Paleontologists. For years anything with a couple legs and teeth that would make a dentist faint were popped into the Carnosaur territory. Finally some scientists ran a duster around and hoovered a lot of the ones designated Carnosaurs into slightly more defined drawers in the Dino Filing Cabinet.


Always a movie favourite (Lord love Manny) the Mammoth is most famously known as an elephant with fancy teeth and a hipster haircut, but they were just the last of a long line of elephantine ancestors who, like humans, had a variety of haircuts. They're also the only thing on this list we humans may well have had a hand in removing from the gene pool, although that's under debate.


Largely known for its somewhat phallic protective bone crest that protruded from the back of it's head, the Parasaurs are a family of three different dinos that differ in small ways such as the size of it's crest. There's so  far little scientific evidence they compared crest sizes and that the ones with the smallest crests had the flashiest cars.


Raptor is usually an informal term for the Jurassic Park favourite, the Velociraptor. Sadly the movie did take a few small artistic licences with the Raptor, such as the fact it actually stood at below waist height for most humans (which considering where that put the teeth, might be even MORE scary). They also ignored the fact that they were covered in feathers... An American movie full of historical inaccuracies, who saw THAT one coming?


Here kitty, kitty... Yes, the Sabretooth Cat, a feline so scary you would DEFINITELY let it has cheezburger. Instead of posing hanging from trees these pussy cats were incredibly dangerous hunters with front legs far more powerful than any other animal of this type. Trust me, when these suckers are hungry they'll do a bit more than smack you in the face while you're asleep.


This Spinosaur skeleton is missing one small detail, which is the spines, usually creating a massive "sail" on the back of the animal. So far nobody's totally sure WHY they had the sail, although it probably comes down to sex, it usually does. They also had quite unique teeth in that that were arranged in a fanned out pattern, meaning before THESE guys could have appeared in Jurassic Park it would have cost a fair few bob in Orthodontic work.


Back in Dino times even vegetarians needed a little extra protection. There wasn't just a little teasing regarding sprout souffl├ęs and fights over the right way to cook soy protein. These veggies needed to protect themselves from some pretty mean so-and-so's, which is why they've got more armour plating than a Challenger tank and a spiky tail that would put a crimp in anyone's day.


Speaking of well armoured Herbivores, we find ourselves at the Triceratops, with their big neck frill (again suggested to be for pulling a mate, "cor, look at the neck plates on that") and anything up to three horns adorning its head, usually one on the nose and a couple in traditional devil horn locations, showing that in Dino times, you could never be horny enough.

Wooly Rhino

Shall I let you take a guess at what the Wooly Rhino was? Anyone still reading and not skipped on? OK, just for you, lets describe it. It's a rhino that's wooly. With all their latin and long names sometimes scientists obviously just go "screw that for a game of soldiers" and say it like it is. Look people, it's a rhino and it's wooly, let's just call it a wooly rhino and go to the pub.

(NOTE: This does not come from a Bone Crate but a mission reward and doesn't count as one of the nine for the wrapper.)

Big Daddy, el Dino Grande, the "Tyrant Lizard" is commonly known as the most fearsome, and famous predator in Dino times. Much of the general aggression and angst of the T-Rex probably came from it's tiny arms making such destressing activities as pushups, video gaming and... other things impossible. Recordings have shown the T-Rex, when not killing, eating or mating with anything in sight, had a more than useable singing voice with hits such as Get It On and Children of the Revolution.